• Latest

Poo-mageddon

September 17, 2018

How to deal with fights about money

June 26, 2021

How to make friends when you have kids

November 18, 2022

Make sure you don’t burn money on Amazon Prime day

June 10, 2021

A sabbatical could change your life

June 4, 2021

Kids are savage animals

November 19, 2022

How to set up a kids allowance (part 4)

May 22, 2021

How to take a sabbatical

November 18, 2022

Keep it simple ….

May 5, 2021

Why didn’t I discover financial independence earlier in life?

April 28, 2021

Why should I learn about personal finance?

April 23, 2021

DIY injuries for kids

November 22, 2022

Raising kids in the developing world

January 31, 2021
  • Home
  • Finance
  • Just For Laughs
  • Family
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
No Result
View All Result
Cutting Through Chaos
  • Home
  • Finance
  • Just For Laughs
  • Family
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
No Result
View All Result
Cutting Through Chaos
No Result
View All Result

Poo-mageddon

Mr Chaos by Mr Chaos
September 17, 2018
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
2

You often hear that there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes.  If you are a parent, there’s a third. Poo. Lots of poo. Poo-based blockbusters with never-ending sequels (Lethal Poo, Poo-tanic, Poo Hard, Poo Harder, etc). 

Four kids mean that we’ve seen our fair share of poo, including the latest ‘release’ last Saturday.  After a round of parental high-fiving, having gotten all the kids into bed by 7pm, we collapsed on our sofa after a typically exhausting, relentless day.  Our mistake was forgetting to turn on the twin’s baby monitor…

We first heard the noises about an hour later.  And they weren’t coming from the twin’s bedroom.  No, they were coming from our adjoining bedroom.  Noises in our bedroom could only mean one thing – at least one reprobate had escaped!

Mrs Chaos made it to the bedroom before I did.  She found Chewy in our bedroom grinning and buck-naked from the waist down.  The reason she could see him is that he’d turned on ALL of the lights in our bedroom.  (The force is strong with this one.) The light also illuminated the carnage that was our bed – imagine what Jackson Pollock would have produced if he’d been limited to toothpaste, toilet paper and poo.  Oh so much poo.  And did I mention that we’d just put clean sheets on our bed.  I love clean sheets.

And the bed wasn’t Chewy’s only canvas.  Oh no.  Why limit yourself to one canvas when you have a full bedroom in which to express yourself?

Pollock, I mean Chewy, was continuing to grin like he’d just won a gold medal at the Olympics.  And he was now helpfully yelling ‘poo-poo, poo-poo’, and pointing out the fact that he’d ‘helpfully’ deposited the poo smeared diaper in our trash can.  Before you start thinking how smart our little t*%d is, let me point out that he’d turned the diaper inside out before throwing it in the trash.

But the horror hadn’t finished.  I watched Mrs Chaos shed a silent tear while picking up her poo smeared electric toothbrush.  We’re choosing to tell ourselves that Chewy brushed his teeth prior to cleaning ‘down under’.  Having said that, Bad Dad Confession: I’ve been avoiding Chewy’s kisses for the last few days.

Not satisfied with smearing poo everywhere, Chewy had also managed to locate his elder siblings’ best artwork.  We keep the artwork beside our bed.  Chewy had gently laid the artwork out on the floor before peeing all over them.  Looks like we’ve got an art critic on our hands. Although he clearly needs a lesson on constructive criticism.

So what’s the point of this post other than reunite you with your own happy memories or foreshadow those to come?  Well, it got us thinking about how to contain kids when they can climb into and out of their cots.

We’ve had a number of ‘suggestions’ from friends, each getting progressively more extreme:

  • Sleeping bags
  • Straight-jackets
  • Duct tape
  • Bars/barbed wire

Needless to say, we’re still looking for suggestions. I am not going to tell you our current method, in case anyone reports us. But would welcome any ideas, as we have discovered any idea has a shelf life of a couple of weeks before the escape artists twins crack it.

We’re also thinking its probably time to start potty training. We’ve used Gina Ford’s Potty Training in One Week book with our first two (the only book of hers that we’ve followed), and found the experience straight forward.

The other point of posts like this is that whilst these experiences are not enjoyable at the time, they are part of life.  And once some water has passed under the bridge, it becomes easier to look back and smile.  I’ve got an older friend – whose kids are grown up – who never stops telling me that I need to take time while our kids are young to ‘stop and smell the roses’.  Unfortunately, the smells are not always of roses …

Share120Tweet75Pin27
Mr Chaos

Mr Chaos

Related Posts

Family

How to deal with fights about money

June 26, 2021

The most likely cause of stress in a relationship? Fights about money. These don't just arise between savers and spenders.

Family

How to make friends when you have kids

November 18, 2022

Making family friends when you have kids can be a minefield. So complex, that its best illustrated with a venn diagram.

Family

Make sure you don’t burn money on Amazon Prime day

June 10, 2021

Did you know that we waste $2,500 per year purchases we regret? We've developed some shopping strategies to stop burning money on Amazon.

Family

A sabbatical could change your life

June 4, 2021

When we took a sabbatical we thought it would be a chance to recharge batteries. We did not think it would change our lives.

Comments 2

  1. A future father says:
    4 years ago

    If somebody poos in the bath, do you need to change the water? What if it’s only a little bit?

    Reply
    • Mr Chaos says:
      4 years ago

      Great to hear from you! This is a great question – and like all great questions, the answer is, ‘it depends’. Its really a question of quantity, dispersion rate, whether there are any other kids in the bath, and how close bath time is to being finished. We all draw the line in a slightly different place…

      Keep the questions coming!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

The site is currently being overhauled and we unfortunately lost all the pictures and some content in the process. We are rapidly trying to fix it without having to divorce each other...

Apologies for the inconvenience.

About Us

Mr & Mrs Chaos

Professionals, Parents etc...

Two exhausted parents, an opinionated 11-year-old, an off-the-wall 8-year-old, and a pair of thrill-seeking 6-year-olds. This is our take on life and carving a way through the crazy. 

Head to the About page to find out more about our family and scroll down to see some of the latest blog posts!

Categories

  • Family (29)
  • Finance (22)
  • Just For Laughs (12)
  • Living Abroad (9)

Popular

  • What are your big rocks?

    382 shares
    Share 153 Tweet 96
  • Why didn’t I discover financial independence earlier in life?

    315 shares
    Share 126 Tweet 79
  • How to make friends when you have kids

    313 shares
    Share 125 Tweet 78
  • A sabbatical could change your life

    307 shares
    Share 123 Tweet 77
  • The Reluctant Chautauquan : 10 Weird Things I Learnt About a Chautauqua

    307 shares
    Share 123 Tweet 77
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About Us
  • Contact Us